In our last post, we described how in the book, How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity and the Hidden Power of Character, Paul Tough points to the importance of parenting in developing the character that promotes children’s success. Tough discusses 7 character traits that Angela Duckworth and colleagues have focused on as key to children’s success:
- Grit,
- Self-Control,
- Zest,
- Social Intelligence,
- Gratitude,
- Optimism,
- Curiosity
In this post we will explore the first three traits: Grit, Self-Control and Zest. As we have discussed previously in blogs and elsewhere, the literature is clear that the quality of parenting can make a big difference in the outcomes for children. The question we will explore here is: Can parenting assessment guide parents in promoting character traits in their children? Once we identify the parenting behaviors that support each trait, we could support parents to focus on improvements that would foster the development of the character trait in their child. We will start by defining the trait, and then explore which parenting behaviors might be most involved in developing the particular trait. We will use the Keys to Interactive Parenting Scale (KIPS) to illustrate this connection. In the slide show below we show which behaviors assessed by KIPS are most likely to promote each of the first 3 character traits. (Click on the arrows beneath the slides to advance to the next slide.)
Grit
Tough defines grit as “A passionate commitment to a single mission and an unswerving dedication to achieve that mission over the long term.” In her TED talk on grit, Angela Duckworth refers to grit as a marathon rather than a sprint. If you would like to assess your own grit, she has developed a grit assessment tool that is available online (Access to the University of Pennsylvania’s Authentic Happiness website is free, but you need to register).
What parenting behaviors promote the development of grit in a child, and can these behaviors be assessed? Responsive parenting has been shown to be one of the strongest predictors of grit. Furthermore, responsive parenting serves as a buffer against the impact of toxic stress, which can inhibit a child’s persistence when challenged. So, the first two KIPS items that focus on responsiveness would likely be related to grit. In addition, Item 4, Open to the Child’s Agenda would be involved. Parents who support the child choosing and following his or her own agenda would be developing grit. Lastly, how well the parent sets reasonable expectations would foster grit. Setting expectations that match capabilities, and frequently and consistently challenge the child would promote dedication to goals (assessed under KIPS Item #7 Reasonable Expectations). In his book Tough discusses that children attending a prestigious private school had lower grit scores than students attending an urban public school. He attributes the difference to the private school children not having sufficient opportunities in facing challenges.
Self-Control
Self-control is a component of executive function. It is the ability to control your impulses, both emotional and cognitive. The stress of poverty has been shown to severely limit executive function, particularly impulse control. To learn more, see the Center for the Developing Child at Harvard’s short video that explains executive function/self control.
Parents who help children understand, communicate, and modulate their emotions would be promoting self-control (assessed under KIPS Item #2, Supports Emotions). A parent’s physical interactions, especially body language and facial expressions, would provide a model for appropriate self-control (assessed under KIPS Item #3, Physical Interaction). Self-control also changes as a child grows and matures; setting developmentally appropriate expectations and structuring slight challenges would foster self control (assessed under KIPS Item #7 Reasonable Expectations). Controlling one’s attention is an important part of success. Parents who adapt strategies to maintain the child’s interest and attention are building self-control (assessed under KIPS Item #8, Adapting Strategies). When ability to control impulses comes to mind, how the parents set limits and use consequences certainly contribute to a child developing self-control (assessed under KIPS Item #9, Limits and Consequences).
Zest (Vitality)
On the University of Pennsylvania’s Authentic Happinesswebsite, Ben Dean defines vitality (or zest) as approaching life with excitement and energy; not doing things halfway or halfheartedly; living life as an adventure; feeling alive and activated. Zest (vitality or enthusiasm) is a trait that correlates highly with well-being and happiness. Temperament influences one’s capacity for zest, but can parents promote the development of zest within their children’s capacity? A parent can support his/her child in recognizing, expressing, and verbally communicating positive emotions, such as excitement, joy and enthusiasm (assessed under KIPS item #2, Supporting Emotions). Furthermore, the parent can join with the child by participating wholeheartedly in the child’s activities (assessed under KIPS item #4, Involvement). Also, the parent can encourage the child verbally and nonverbally in showing zest (assessed under KIPS item #11, Encouragement).
In the next post we explore the next of 4 character traits: Social Intelligence, Gratitude, Optimism and Curiosity.
What do you think parents can do to support the development of Grit, Self-Control, and Zest? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.